20 Questions with Steven Luna


1. So, what’s your book all about?

It’s about a guy named Joe, who, through an unfortunate misunderstanding on a group date, gets turned into a vampire.  Then he starts a blog to tell the world about how crappy the vampire deal really is…truth be told, it doesn’t happen like Twilight; nobody sparkles, nobody gets prettier.  Nobody wears clothes from Hollister.

2. What inspired you to write this tale?

It started as a real blog, an open-ended interactive conceptual art project, meant to include writing/visual arts/music and to appear as if Joe were a real guy and not a character. Nine posts in, I saw a story emerging and decided to turn it into a novel.

3. Do you have a favorite quote about creativity/inspiration etc…? What is it?

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”  – Albert Einstein. Powerful stuff.

4. What things do you keep in your “writing space”? Do they inspire you? Confound you? Hold wires in place?

Laptop: check. Speakers to pipe in writing music and various funny stuff: check. Loud children digging for DVDs and art supplies: who do you think inspires me, confounds me and holds the wires in place? Check, check and check.

5. What is your perfect “writing space”?

I’d be stoked to write in an outdoor space, snug in the mountains near a stream or some form of running water.  As it is, the toilet next to my writing space seems to run a lot, so there’s that…

6. If your car horn could play any song, which would it be? Can’t say Dixie.

Either Handel’s “Messiah”, or “Immigrant Song” by Led Zepplin. Or both. In a medley.

7. What would you name the first permanent settlement on mars?

Let’s-Try-Not-To-Screw-This-One-Up-Too-land. I’m something of a hippie.

8. How tall is the perfect sidekick? Please explain why it even matters.

The perfect sidekick is tall enough to absorb any punches that might come at the hero’s face using their own face instead, yet short enough to not block the hero’s Pepsodent smile with their large cowl or bulbous forehead during photo ops. I’m just going by what I’ve heard.

9. If you were to mess with the time stream, what would you change? Let’s assume a hundred other people already took care of Hitler so you don’t have to say, “Kill Hitler.”

Who is this Hitler of whom you speak? I think I would strip out the section of time in the nineties when all the cute girls were ruining their cuteness with that super-tall Claw-o-Bangs thing. That was a really rough time for me, dating-wise.

10. Let’s say your character has a pet brown bear. What’s the bear’s name?

Snuggles. The irony comes in chapter three, after the ketamine wears off…

11. If you had to give an antagonist an annoying trait, what would it be?

Ending declarative sentences on an upnote as if they were questions…like this? My antagonists in real life do this, even in their e-mails.

12. What kind of car would your ultimate protagonist drive?

Small, efficient and runs on reused vegetable oil (my ultimate protagonist is one of those fry guys from the old McDonalds commercials).

13. You’ve got a year to travel anywhere. Where?

Ireland. And once I find that leprechaun, one year will become two. Two years in Ireland! Hear that, leprechaun? Your days are numbered!

14. You just bought a boat with your book fortune. What are you going to call it?

I’d call it Look What I Just Bought With My Book Fortune! Sort of set myself up for it with my Mars settlement name in question #7.

15. What kind of music, if any, gets you typing the fastest?

Ambient grooves by a musical project I dig called Sleepthief. It balances the hemispheres and puts me in a speed-typing zone. That last sentence sounds like a joke I’d make, but it’s totally true.

16. What’s the punch line to your favorite joke?

“If you think I’m gonna gargle with that sh*t after she puts her a** in it, you can forget it.”

17. What lyric do you sing poorly, yet loudly?

Bohemian Rhapsody…but only if by “poorly” you mean “totally awesomely”.

18. You find a portal to another world in your sink’s drain. What is this other world called? And what is the best way to clean the portal so it doesn’t smell like old food?

This other world is called All-The-Free-Corn-You-Can-Eat-And-Some-You-Can’t-land. The trick to keeping it clean is all in the name, friend. Maybe you can tell: I’m not so good at naming stuff (see questions #7 and #14 above).

19. Where can people learn more about you, your work or any pets you have?

joevampire.blogspot.com will tell them more than they want to know about me and my tortoise farm. I’ve probably said too much about it already. Also, you can find me on facebook.com/thestevenluna and twitter.com/JoeVampireBlog.

20. What’s next?

A re-launch of JOE VAMPIRE through my radical new publisher, Booktrope, and then onward to JOE VAMPIRE 2: THE AFTERLIFE, which is being edited and cleaned up at the moment. A teaser: the vampires actually do wear Hollister in this one. Take that, Twilight…take that.

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