Sometimes Words are powerful. The right combination of words (no matter how meaningless) can sell products, create movements and win elections. Yes, they can. I’ve always found etymology fascinating. Now, I’m not sure if Vampire Energy was simply inspired by its nature or carefully crafted in a green lab somewhere to strike fear into people, but it’s a nice example of how a phrase can make something a simple as unplugging your phone charger seem so sinister. Either way, the simple construct can be a source of inspiration…or fear. Here’s John:

Vampire Energy:

After a nearly three hundred dollar power bill one month, I had the power company come out and perform an energy usage utilization review on my house and suggest ways that what’s her name and I can lower our power bill.

Some of the techniques were what you would expect, raise the AC thermostat and lower the heat temp, double pane windows, fresh weather stripping etc.

I expected and understood all of those things but you could have knocked me over with a feather when they mentioned the next way to lower our usage was to eliminate “Vampire energy usage”

What the hell? Since when were vampires hooked into the power grid? I thought the undead drank blood? Is there a Bill Compton or Sookie sucking on my meter box at night when all is quiet or lapping watts out of my very expensive CFB’s (compact florescent bulbs) the twisty kind.

How come there has never been any mention of vampires feeding off the power grid in all of the chronicling of the Nosferatu from elder times to the present day? Well I wonder when the change from blood to kilowatts occurred and how the transformation took place?  I guess that explains the sparkle that all those Twilight vamps display.

I do know one thing! i am going to be keeping a VERY close eye on things around my house from now on and will be paying attention when the dogs start acting agitated! Everyone knows that dogs can sense the undead!

I wonder how I will be able to kill these power sucking Vampires? Maybe “Grounding” them? Swapping my wooden stake for a copper 6 gauge copper wire?

Open to suggestions on how to decrease my “vampire energy usage”

Vigilant at night,

MjrF

Thanks for your time!

John Brown (yes that is his real name) lives and works in Florida for a MAJOR retailer in their store planning division. He is not a professional writer and only blogs in his spare time. He lives with his wife, 2 dogs and 5 birds.

John can be reached at Majorfathead@gmail.com and he’s really worth following at https://twitter.com/#!/jbro121.