I’m not quite ready for a full-blown midlife crisis. But I am ready for a change. We’ll start small, with the things I carry around each day.

A pocket knife is good if you have to fight off a ninja or repel a Soviet proxy army from Cuba. But they are straight up useless against boogeymen.

For that, you’re going to need a flashlight.

Because we all know that there are only two things that keep you safe from closet monsters, shadow people and, other things that go bump in the night: light and the impenetrable defenses of a blanket or thin bedsheet. Yeah, these creatures have been around for centuries, but they still haven’t figured how to defeat the security of a blanket or get past the power of a 60-watt bulb or small night light.

So, imagine how they’ll react when you blast them with 1200 lumens worth of brilliance.

The Imalent LD10 is a pocket-sized USB rechargeable flashlight that puts out enough light to burn the retinas out any ghost that’s foolish enough to haunt your place.

It’s roughly the size of your middle finger. Which is basically what you’ll be giving the monster hiding under your bed when you shine this in his face.

If you read the description on Amazon, you’ll see that it’s good for Champing [sic]. Now, I don’t know what champing is. But in spite of the questionable copy, it is a decent flashlight. The only odd part is the charging cable. It’s magnetic and a little particular but considering the price, I’m not going to be too picky.

Besides, it really the monsters scream.

Also, it’s good for finding things in the dark.

Check it out.