I’ve got an ad running right now that shows an ICBM launch.

As it travels, the narrator reads the first line of my book, “Even a mushroom cloud has a silver lining.”

The problem is, the image shows the curvature of the Earth. Or, as at least one commenter a day calls it, “LIES!” Any image of a round Earth seems to be the equivalent to that rubber mallet whacky thing the doc uses to test our reflexes.

Instead of a knee jerk, however, what quickly follows is a visual assault of links to videos, images and other “proof” that the world is flat. What astounds me is that they’re serious.

Now I’ve loved a good conspiracy theory ever since I spotted a lizard man at a Cinnabon during a layover at Denver International. But that one makes sense. I see the profit in hiding lizard men as they work to overthrow society. I get how Big Oil benefits in withholding a carburetor that gets 100 mpg. And I see the money in faking out the world with New Coke.

But I don’t see a profit in misleading us to think the Earth is round. So, if the Earth really is flat, I want to know two things. Who is lying to us? And why are they doing it? Is there a cabal of cartographers making a fortune off the lie? Is it Big Globe? Are they afraid sales of their globes that hold secret bars would plummet if the truth got out?

Or maybe I’m not thinking far enough. Maybe there really is a host of Lizard Men in Colorado drinking New Coke and rubbing the palms together in glee because step one of their world domination plans was to convince everyone the world was round and they finally get to move on to step 2.

 


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